Dumb questions customers ask...

[Sofar]

While working at McDonald's: What do you have that's healthy?

People ask me that with alarming frequency. While we do have a selection of delicious salads, (add pulled pork for just $1.95!) I usually respond, "Try the the bacon and egg cheeseburger! Is good for you! Get some meat on those bones." and then they're all like, "I . . . I don't want meat on my bones. I like my bones the way they are."

[Kitten in the box]

Heres a few of mine:

1) SC: If this is 2/$6.00 if I get one will it cost $3.00?
Me: yes
SC: But if I buy both it will be $6.00..
Me: Yes...
Sc: so If I buy one it will be $3.00?
Me:

2) SC: does buy one get one free mean I get the second one free?
Me: uhhh...yeah.....?

3) Sc: what is the difference between non-fat and regular?
Me: One has no fat and tastes funny...the other one is regular and tastes good.

and my favorite...

SC: I am having guests over and I wanna know can I serve them this cat food (canned) on toast

Me: are you serious?
Sc: yes. (she was dead serious)
Me: Uhhhhhh...you could but I wouldn't recomend it....your friends might not like it
Sc: why?
Me: beause its cat food? you are supposed to feed it to your cat.
Sc: But its safe for human consumtion right?
Me: uhh..sure....its not going to hurt them.....
Sc: great!! *smiles*

she actually BOUGHT the cans of catfood and fed it to her guests....later on in the week she came back and said I was right....her guests did NOT like cat food.

[AFpheonix]

People ask me that with alarming frequency. While we do have a selection of delicious salads, (add pulled pork for just $1.95!) I usually respond, "Try the the bacon and egg cheeseburger! Is good for you! Get some meat on those bones." and then they're all like, "I . . . I don't want meat on my bones. I like my bones the way they are."

Oddly, some people don't like it when I make a recommendation for something, because it will put hair on their chest. Whodathunk, not everyone wants a hairy chest?

[Retail Associate]

Our store has been around since 1991 and we're open 24 hours a day, 364 days a year... always have been. But people still ask:

Any random SC: "What time do you close?"

Me: "Christmas Eve at 7:00PM."

They seem to think I'm being a smart ass when I say that.

[Mikkel]

Oddly, some people don't like it when I make a recommendation for something, because it will put hair on their chest. Whodathunk, not everyone wants a hairy chest?

"She is Princess Elora Danaan and the last thing she need is a hairy chest!"

[AFpheonix]

Oh c'mon...it's just a little black root

God, Val Kilmer was hot in that movie....

[HYHYBT]

Not a question, just something odd... today I was changing a price on the Drive-Thru board, and the guy about to order said "you act like you've done this before." Oh, once or twice... let's see, stupid questions...

"Your apple pies, are they pies or are they sandwiches?"
"Are they made with apples?" (not the same person as above)
"I can't find any hamburgers on your menu board, do you sell hamburgers here?"
"What's the difference between the number 8 and the number 9?" (Answer: Well, the Filet-O-Fish meal comes with a fish sandwich, while the McChicken meal comes with a chicken sandwich)
"Are your french fries low fat?"
"Does that Indian guy still own this place? He was really rude the last time I was here!" (I didn't know what to make of that at all, until finding out he thought he was in the Dairy Queen next door where, by the way, I've never been treated rudely but with that attitude he may well have been)
"Where is the Mall?" (asked at the store right across the street, with the mall in plain sight, you CANNOT miss seeing it from the street nor mistake it for anything else)

This list should be longer. Those are all old, but I've had several lately where I thought at the time "I've got to post this on CS!" then forgot about. Maybe they'll come back later.

[Lehk]

That's strange, when I was last at the hardware store I heard nearly exactly the same exchange. The clerk kept explaining what primer is and why one needs it and the customer kept saying, "But I don't want to! Do I have to?

"well you don't have to, but don't come crying to me when your paint job comes out horrible and peels off"

[simplyanother]

I realize this thread is a bit old.

But I loved the bit about discontinuing the bathrooms.

Why do people always ask me where the bathrooms are, when they are standing right in front of the giant sign that says "RESTROOMS"

Or where is Customer Service , when I'm at the register, and to get to my register, you have to walk by customer service, seeing as how it's right beside the door.

Or be right next to the aisle with Christmas trees, Lights and oranments and ask, do you sell Christmas trees?

[MissVendetta]

The shoe shop where I used to work (London, England ) :

An American woman tried on two pairs of shoes. She liked both pairs and wanted them, no problem with that, until...

SC:Oh I like both of these, I'll have... err, how do you say "both" here in England?
me: Err... both.
SC: Great! I'll have both of them.

A former Spice Girl holds a pair of Caterpillar Colorado boots and asks "Do you have these same boots but by Dr. Martens?"

Book shop:

at the language section
SC: Do you have books on CD?
me: Do you mean CD-ROMs for learning the language or audio books on CD? We have both.
SC: What's the difference?

The day after the latest Harry Potter was released:
SC: Why didn't anyone tell me this book was in English? How was I supposed to know that?
(err...well... unless you bought the book with your eyes closed and/or you are an complete idiot, that little fact is hard to miss)

The same book shop, I'm wrapping christmas presents:

SC:I don't understand this queueing system you have. What number is this?
(it's a number called "not your turn yet")

SC (to my collague who was there in the morning after doing the evening before): Have you been here all night?

The office building where I'm currently working:
SC: How do I get out?
me: *points at the revolving door*
SC: I came from that! Wow, so it works both ways, in and out, eh?

[Gurndigarn]

The office building where I'm currently working:
SC: How do I get out?
me: *points at the revolving door*
SC: I came from that! Wow, so it works both ways, in and out, eh?

"Well, sir, it has a bit of a technical glitch. If you don't exit in time, it sends you out when you wanted to come in, or back in if you're heading out. But we're working on that."

[MissVendetta]

"Well, sir, it has a bit of a technical glitch. If you don't exit in time, it sends you out when you wanted to come in, or back in if you're heading out. But we're working on that."

Haha, you wouldn't believe how many people get confused when they enter the door. Some stop right away when they have just stepped in and when the door starts moving, they kind of get pushed by it. I love their horrified expressions! (And no, you cannot get killed by our door. If you get stuck between the door and the wall, it will stop. And if you push the door the opposite way while being pushed yourself, it will stop as well.)
Another hilarious and more common incident is when someone exits the door too soon and hit the glass. Mostly it's just a loud "bang" and a very embarassad person holding his forehead will appear, but sometimes people are like they don't comprehend the very nature of glass and try to force themselves through it: "What is this invisible thing stopping me? I.Must.Fight.The.Evil.Force.Field."

Yup, lots of amusement from one little door. The hardest part is not to laugh too loud.

[chantal]

I used to get this all the time when I worked at a adult toy/intimate apparell store, but the guys would go: "about this size" while cupping their hands mere inches from my own chest and twisting their hands back and forth.

Oh they do that to me too! Although sometimes they are A LOT closer than a few inches away....a few millimeters perhaps.

A question I get asked all the time is generally along the lines of:

SC: Good Lord! How old are you? Does your mother know you're working here?
Me: I'm six and a half. Obviously I'm 18 as there is a HUGE sign on the door saying "You must be 18 or older to enter beyond this point".
SC: Well...fine then.
Me: Now, can I see some photo ID for you folks?

[Retail Associate]

We don't have a revolving door but there are two entrances in the front of the store. My dept is located right in the middle of the store. You can clearly see both sets of doors from almost anywhere in the dept. Yet I am asked on a regular basis, "Where are the doors? How do I get out of here?"

[pbmods]

We don't have a revolving door but there are two entrances in the front of the store. My dept is located right in the middle of the store. You can clearly see both sets of doors from almost anywhere in the dept. Yet I am asked on a regular basis, "Where are the doors? How do I get out of here?"

"Well, given that you're in the direct center of the store, I'd say any direction would be out for ya."

"Just click your heels together three times and say..."

"Leave? I thought you just got a cot in the back, like we do..."