Mess with my coworker, you mess with me....and you'll die of thirst.

[Jester]

So it was my Monday night bartending shift on the roof deck of The Bar. I had to go to the downstairs bar to get something (I don't recall what) and as I went to go behind the bar, I noticed this older man yelling at Curly Sue, my bar manager and fellow bartender. She wasn't saying much, just smiling. Never a good sign.

I found out the full story later, but basically he was not happy with the way she was pouring Happy Hour drinks for him, because [Other Bartender] pours them stronger. She pointed out that he was basically throwing [Other Bartender] under the bus by saying he over pours. Naturally the Old Fart wasn't listening to Curly Sue OR logic, but was just raising his voice more and more, calling her a loser, this that and the other, and going off on her. She made it abundantly clear that he could drink wherever he wanted, but NOT at her bar. He yelled he would bring this to management, blah blah blah. Curly Sue didn't feel the need to tell him that she WAS management. She just wanted him to leave.

Which he did. Sort of.

Because as I was heading back up the stairs to the roof deck, I noticed he was behind me. Apparently he thought he would just head upstairs and get happy hour drinks on the deck.

Really? Really? You just went off like a complete and total ass goblin on my coworker and manager, not to mention the woman who makes my schedule, and you think you are getting anything from me?

Now, I wasn't sure why Curly Sue hadn't just tossed the fucker out of the building entirely, but in any case, I had to decide if I was actually going to allow him to sit at the bar and attempt to get a drink from me, or if I was just going to end it before it started. I opted for the latter. As I was walking to the bar, I turned around to him and said, "Sir, I am NOT serving you up here."

He stared at me. "What?!?!"

I just dismissed him with a whithering gaze and told him, "After the way you just talked to my coworker, there is absolutely no way I am serving you up here. At. All."

Stunned, he collected his wife and left. Good fucking riddance. Asshole.

Later, Curly Sue came up to me. "You threw him out?" I told her, "No. I WANTED to throw him out, but didn't know if I had that authority. So I simply told him that he was not getting served a damn thing at my bar. Fuck him."

Curly Sue: "You rock, Jester."

Why yes. Yes I do.

[Wingates_Hellsing]

Hear that sound?
It's silence...

Exellent Jester, that's a burn.... BIG time

[dendawg]

Hear that sound?
It's Jester, breaking his arm from patting himself on the back.

Edited for my amusement.
I reall don't mean any ill will, but I just had to take the opening.

[Jester]

Wait a minute.....other people post their stories of SC ownage and get compliments. I post one of mine, and I get mocked?

But....but....but.....oh, man, you are going to make me cry.


No, I'm not even vaguely serious. I know I have a high opinion of myself, and it's good to be brought down to size from time to time. NOT that this did that, mind you.


EDITED TO ADD: Besides, I so rarely get to actually say what I want to say to asswads like this, it felt good, and I wanted to share it. So neener neener.

[Wingates_Hellsing]

Maybe one of these days I can try starting a service that delivers anonymous messages to SCs.

Now if only I had a good name for such a thing

*waiting expectantly*

[JoitheArtist]

Maybe one of these days I can try starting a service that delivers anonymous messages to SCs.

Now if only I had a good name for such a thing

*waiting expectantly*

The Pwning Express.

*runs away from bad, bad punnery*

[Jester]

Fuck You-A-Grams. Too blunt?

[Snowbird]

The Pwning Express.

*runs away from bad, bad punnery*

Awesome.

And I'm probably too old to be a Jester fangirl but...

[AriRashkae]

The Pwning Express.

*runs away from bad, bad punnery*

No no no.

The Pwny Express.

[groveldog]

Good on you.

So many bar customers don't appreciate that we all actually know each other and are usually a pretty tight bunch, given that we work antisocial hours and lose most of our "normal" friends, so we become family. And while pouring beers we have ample opportunity to point out arseholes and explain what happened. Plus we are excellent lip readers.

Such arseholes will find themselves waiting verrrry long to get served. And when they arc up about it, I would be happy to explain what their transgression was. And also explain if they didn't smarten up there were 100 sober people lining up outside who were potentially nicer who would love to take their place.

God, I hate those people who would complain that so-and-so gave them stronger shots (our shots are all measured in Australia, no freepours unless in a very flash cocktail bar) so either they are lying, got lucky with a newb or maybe the dregs of a bottle where the pour errs on the side of generous, or they have just set their mate up to be fired. Would these people front up to a checkout at Kmart and say "hey, is Mike here? Cos he lets me get this stuff for free!"

[Jester]

What he said about [Other Bartender] was the least of his transgressions. He yelled at and degraded my coworker and manager, a pregnant woman, for goodness sakes.

This was not a fool I was going to suffer lightly, or at all. I cut him off at the knees and, while not actually telling him to get the fuck out, told him he would not be getting any drinks from my bar. Considering there are only two bars in the place, that left him the option of sitting around not drinking, or leaving. For the first time that day, his brain decided on the brighter of the two options, and he left.

[katie kaboom]

Fuck You-A-Grams. Too blunt?

Not at all. In fact, I know a few people I'd like to send one of those to.

[Jester]

Hmmmm....kind of giving me an idea for an actual company.......

[katie kaboom]

Hmmmm....kind of giving me an idea for an actual company.......

please, please, please hire me. I can guarantee you I'd love my job.

[draftermatt]

I've never understood the glee people get with getting drunk in public.*

However, I've really never understood the need to mess with people who are providing you with the libations to make sure your glee lasts.

Unless the bartender is such an epic fuck up (like the one my wife and her friends got once) that you have to complain to a manager, let it go.

*For the record, yes I've been drunk in public. I polished off a pitcher of beer in about 15 minutes with no ill effect. However I was still conscious enough to appear sober so as to not make a scene.