My family are all SCs when I try to help them. Longish :(

[Jackofalltrades]

I am the most tech-savvy person in my social/family circles. For the record, I am a level 1/ level 2 tech at a half-billion dollar company.

Every other day I have my dad, mom, aunt, brother, girlfriend's parents, sister, etc. all needing my help fixing virus, hardware, software, asking me to pirate something (which I don't since I know how these things can be traced).

At one point, my parents approached me wanting to do some serious computer work. I'm talking new RAM, Software/Hardware upgrades, serious cleanup and refresh on 3 Computer, and even purchasing and setting/souping up a new laptop. All in all, most computer places would charge over $2000 just for the 3 machines. I explained this to them and they said to just keep it under $2000 for everything.

I went so far as to even do a bulleted estimate to lay out everything. I estimated 8 hours worth of work and since I live 65 miles away and don't own a car, I factored that in. Zipcars are $75 to $100 for 1 day and I couldn't afford one myself.

As soon as they saw the numbers they got pissed. They wanted me to do the work for next to nothing. They wanted to pay for parts and then give me $100 for all of the work. I explained to them that this wouldn't even cover the car and they decided to pull the parent-card and say I was lucky to get that because "I may be good, but I don't deserve full pay without a diploma." I immediately stopped my work and told them that if they wanted the work, it would be paid for up front.

In the end, I did the cleanup and refresh and it took 4 hours. They paid me $200, which immediately went to buying a new Xbox which died that night.


I even gave my brother a desktop with monitor after telling him the motherboard was bad and would cost $100 to replace. Not bad considering it was a $1000 machine that I built. He called me up a few days later asking why the computer wouldn't turn on. I explained to him the problem AGAIN, and he wanted me to pay for the part. Hell no.

My brother says that he is more tech savvy than me, and yet he calls me from Japan to troubleshoot his machine. His idea of troubleshooting was to call GeekSquad and get free advice.

I am so totally done helping my family with computers

Also, this was more than a year ago and they still bitch that I broke their machines. They have a tendency to open every email and get viruses every few days. I don't need the money that badly

[Bright_Star]

Sounds like my brother.

[freaktard]

...and my mother-in-law!

[Thud-n-Blunder]

Robert Heinlein said in one of his books (I think it was Expanded Universe) that there are people who wouldn't think of trying to get a taxi driver to give them a free fare who think nothing of trying to get an author to give them a free story.

I've run into that sort of thing myself, being a software developer, and there've been times that I suffer from "helium hand" (the affliction that causes people to volunteer their services even when they know better) when it comes to helping a couple of non-tech-savvy relatives with their computer.

I think it's a common plaint - there was a Ferengi rule of acquisition which states, "Family is a resource - to be exploited ruthlessly." This seems to happen often when said family member possesses a technical skill, such as a doctor, a lawyer, an auto mechanic, or computer repair / programming.

Not that the knowledge of misery having company makes the misery any less.

[Jackofalltrades]

My main complaint is that it was my father who taught me

"When doing business with family, treat them like any other client because you will get taken advantage of"

He is also the man who when I needed him to treat me like a son, he would treat me like any one of his employees, and when I needed him to treat me like an employee and pay me like one, he would take the other road and want to "pay me in knowledge." (This is parent for: you're lucky I am paying you anything you ingrate). Of course, when I have a W-2 for his company, he pays me apprentice rates ($8 - 10/hr)).

[trailerparkmedic]

That sort of behavior would make me want to put viruses on their computers. Not that I would, but the thought would certainly cross my mind.

Good for you for standing up for yourself!

[Crossbow]

Sounds like my brother-in-law. My wife and I (both computer techs) spent 3 Christmases in a row trying to clean up his computer. His 2 teenage boys play games and surf/download (at the time, anyway) the same machine his business used to run the books, reservations, payroll, etc. No firewall, no virus scanner, nothing. After the third year of this, we put our foot (feet?) down. The kids get their own computer which we will work on, but we charge. The business computer requires a login that my brother-in-law and his wife have; NO ONE ELSE.

I'm fine with providing support to my family if it's reasonable. Once they get sucky about it, I go back to my standard SC rates: "$50 an hour. $100 if you want to watch. $200 if you want to help. 50% discount for family. Rates doubled on holidays."

[Jester]

Simple solution if your family is suckstastic to you on such things: don't do such things for your family. Period.

When I used to DJ weddings, I had a strict rule against DJing events for friends or family. When asked about it by friends who wanted a (discounted) DJ, I explained to them that I wanted to be a guest at their special event, NOT the hired help. (I didn't mention to them that if anything went wrong, things could get ugly, and that always sucks for the person providing the service to friends.)

Recently my older sister, The Witch, tried this crap with me. She sent me an email asking me if I would be interested in DJing her boyfriend's birthday party in Phoenix this coming January. She didn't ask about my rates. She didn't offer me any money. She didn't even offer to buy me a plane ticket. I think she simply wanted a free DJ and that I would do it simply because I love going home to Phoenix.

In a very polite email response, I told her that 1. I had a strict rule against doing such things for friends and family, and 2. My rule didn't matter, as I possess no DJ equipment. I did, however, refer her to my old DJ company, as they are excellent at what they do and have very reasonable rates.

I have not heard a peep from The Witch since I sent her that response. No call, no text, no email. No thank you for the reference. No sorry you can't do it. And definitely NOT an invitation to said birthday party as a guest. Nada. Zip. Zilch. All of which just reaffirms my belief that she was just trying to get her dorky little brother to give her something for nothing.

And she wonders why I express such disdain towards her.

[Jackofalltrades]

I like that idea. My family don't take no for an answer. I am going to see them for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I will tell them that I am there to visit and not to work.

I don't care how good the money may seem, it is not worth all of the grief.

[Teskeria]

And if they try to pull the strings, remind them that you are just doing EXACTLY what Daddy taught you. No free services for family. Full payment up front for parts and labor (And i'd double my usual labor rate - you could always them 'give them a small labor discount")
My Parents always took advantage of the skills anyone in the family had that were useful, difference was, she always paid for parts, and a bit extra for labor (if we'd take it, usually she'd be feeding you while you worked, ect.)

[Caffienated_Caramel]

My dad goes through something a similar, he's a plumber and a lot of friends and family ask him to fix something from time to time. I ask if they pay him back for it.

He says sometimes they do or they don't. I'm pretty sure they do, but in different ways. Like treating him to a beer or some wings or they help him with something he cant do and they can.

[scruff]

After my Aunt rang up on Xmas day for assistance with her excel spreadsheet, (turned out she'd just scrolled down too far so couldn't see any of the numbers she had typed in earlier..) I told my relatives I charged £50 an hour.
I've had very little request for tech support since, which was the idea.

[MadMike]

When I used to DJ weddings, I had a strict rule against DJing events for friends or family. When asked about it by friends who wanted a (discounted) DJ, I explained to them that I wanted to be a guest at their special event, NOT the hired help.

We had a close friend DJ our wedding, but I didn't ask him for a discount, and made it clear that he was also a guest. I even told him that if, for whatever reason, he couldn't do it, I'd still like him there as a guest.

He seemed hesitant at first, but I think maybe that last part was what clinched it. He normally charged $600, but did it for us for only $400. He told me that if anyone else asked, we paid $600. I guess he was afraid that if people found out he gave us a $200 discount, he'd suddenly find all these "friends" who wanted him to do the same for him. Knowing how people are, I can't say I blame him.

I'm a computer guy, myself. Not profesionally, but I've taught myself how to build and repair them. I only do it for family and friends, and I never ask for anything in return. They usually hook me up anyway, with food or beer, and a couple times they even gave me some cash.

[KabeRinnaul]

I don't do any computer work, but used to be a SC/Math major, and my sister does this to me all the time. Except with her, it's actually that it will take far longer than she claims, she'll bother me the whole time I'm doing it, and then neglect to thank me for spending my time on it. Or sometime she'll just call me for tech help, then argue with my answer.

[Rapscallion]

I'm the sort-of tech support for devices I don't know much about as far as my parents are concerned. Tomtom - I don't use one, don't own one, but I'm the one expected to go out and sort it out every time it fouls up.

My father has two - one's a spare, since they crap out on him every so often (he has a strange effect on them). The spare is under my email address, since they need registering under a different address. I had to go over the other night to change the email address on his Tomtom updater login program...

I do get a free lunch every Sunday, though, so I'm not complaining.

Rapscallion