My family are all SCs when I try to help them. Longish :(

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

I'm the resident computer guy for my family but usually they don't require such a load of work I would see fit to charge for it. My grandparents usually give me a bit of cash anyway even if I don't ask for it (aren't grandparents awesome!), but they aren't SCs about it.

[Kiwi]

My BF was told (told not asked) that he would be building a computer for his brother (the selfish, spoilt asshole) for christmas last year.
He had to pay for the parts in advance (something we couldnt afford to do) and then his parents paid him back minus the shipping and then his brother threw a fit because the BF didn't have time to assemble it until christmas day.
Both his parents and his brother told him he was selfish and nasty to make the brother (who is 24) wait a week for his computer to be built.

He spent 5 hours on christmas day building the fucking machine (and got no credit for it) and his brother thanked his parents for the cool computer but never once thanked the BF. The parents never thanked him either and his mother made snarky comments because after an hour I told him to drive me back home because I wasn't going to waste my christmas day to.They wonder why I cant stand his family

[Sheldonrs]

...his mother made snarky comments because after an hour I told him to drive me back home because I wasn't going to waste my christmas day to.They wonder why I cant stand his family

I sense you may need this:


http://www.motherinlawstories.com/mo...2009_10_04.htm

[thedrunkenmonkey]

My family is fairly nice about things, but I've come up with a few rules:

1. If you're coming to me for help, know that I know more than you do about this particular subject. You will listen to what I have to say and not interrupt. If you do not listen to what I have to say and/or interrupt, it's your own damn fault for not listening to me in the first place, and I will cheerfully clap my hands and say, "Oh, it's AWESOME when we have learning experiences, isn't it?"

2. Do not attempt to fix things on your own unless you're willing to own the full responsibility of fixing it. That means if you try to do something that you didn't really fully know what you were doing, I'll help you fix it, but I need to be in the presence of the machine and/or happily ensconced with what you are looking at plus at least a few beers to make it work. These things take time and I'd rather spend the time visiting than fixing your broken stuff.

3. I will not "teach" you how to use stuff, build stuff, create stuff, show you how to use programs, etc. That is what community college courses are for. Take one or many of those and use the programs. You do not need Photoshop for editing your vacation pictures; you can use Picasa. Don't tell me I need to teach you how to use Photoshop because frankly, I don't want to spend forty hours telling you how to use something you don't need to know how to use. You don't use a darkroom to develop your pictures, do you? You pay someone else to do it for you. Ergo, use the goddamn Picasa software already.

4. I love you. I have specialized knowledge that you don't. That specialized knowledge enables me to make a living. You have specialized knowledge. How did you get that knowledge? You went out and learned it. As a result, you may use me as a consultant, but I am not your computer teacher/professor/mechanic/slave. I will give you a recommendation and a method to implement, but the labor is yours. Don't ever confuse my love for you with an intention of doing your work for you.

5. I love you, and if you lay blame on me for helping you with your computer, that won't encourage me to do anything other than to say, "Well, guess what? You can always go to the guys at Best Buy to fix your computer for you, can't you?" If you ask me why I can't do it, because they cost so much, I'll simply say, "If I told you no, then it's either because I don't have time, energy, inclination, or the ability to fix your problem as it is right now. And if you go there, you might understand how much money is involved. So you can go explore other options at the moment. I love you, but I can't deal with your issue right now; I have other things that require my attention in my life."

This seems to work out pretty well; after dealing with two family-related computer "emergencies" I finally said, "Um, did you read the manual?"

"I just want it to work!!!"
"Yes, and it seems to work much better if you read the manual."
"I don't want to read the manual."
"Then you don't really want it to just work."
...silence.
"Okay, I'll read the manual."
"Not to put too fine a point on it, but I don't know what the manual says, and I don't know what your computer looks like. So I can't tell you exactly what the computer is doing over the phone by simply listening to you tell me 'it doesn't work' while I'm six hundred miles away from you."

The only thing I can tell the OP is that the best thing to do is really just grow a spine and say "No" to your family, with the addendum ahead of time that you are not a licensed consultant and therefore if they ask for your help they accept with the tacit understanding that you cannot and will not be held accountable for anything they do to the computer after you leave. If it works when you're there; great. After you leave, there is nothing you can be held accountable for.

[crashhelmet]

I'm the computer tech, home theatre expert, and one of two car mechanics for my family.

Just about every weekend, I'm driving to a town about an hour outside of Vegas to work on family members' computers, or help set up their new stereo system, or replace the side mirror that their abusive boyfriend broke off their truck, etc etc etc

I've got no problems helping my dad. He taught me how to fix cars and other things that dad's typically teach their sons, so I fix his computer while trying to teach him how to use it. Most of what I have to do for him is configuration or installation of things that he doesn't understand or unintentionally changed. For being a 70 year old retired Marine, he catches on pretty quickly.

I've got no problem helping my brother either. He knows what he's doing for the most part, so if he needs my help, it's something serious and he always insists on paying me even if I tell him not to worry about it.

My little sister on the other hand, calls and bugs me about every little thing. Things as minor as clearing the cache in her browser to Facebook games not loading right. The real kicker is often times she call me about some "serious" problem that she needs me to come out for and after I make the drive I find out it's either not serious at all, or wasn't serious and someone else figured it out / fixed it for her. But does she tell me? Nooooooo... Nothing like wasting a few hours out of the day and half a tank of gas for nothing.

CH

[LadyAndreca]

I tried once, ONCE, to fix my parents' computer. I was on Christmas break and agreed to look at it, only to find that my teenaged brothers had been downloading porn, anime, and games on it. (My parents could not figure out that, despite having AOL, my brothers could still open up IE once connected and do whatever the heck they wanted.) I sighed, rolled up my sleeves, downloaded a program to help me pry out the malware I knew would be there, and spent the better part of an afternoon chasing down programs, trojans, and malware.

When I went back to school, Mom sent me an IM complaining that I'd broken the computer and it was running slower than ever and blamed the program I'd downloaded. (Never mind that I removed about six, or that I'd been using that program on my own computer for nearly a year...still us it now, in fact. Or that when I left, I KNOW that computer was running faster.) I simply told her that fine, if she didn't like it, I had four siblings still living at home, make one of THEM do it. I didn't feel like cleaning up my brothers' messes every time I went home on vacation anyways.

I wish my husband would stop being such a pushover with HIS parents. They're in their 60s and afraid of the computer. His dad just refuses to use it, but his mother's a teacher and has to. So she'll determinedly plug away, then break it, then call us and guilt him into fixing it AND doing whatever she was trying to do when she broke it.

[Jackofalltrades]

My family is fairly nice about things, but I've come up with a few rules:

It has, in fact, gotten to the point that I do not offer up my services to my family anymore, no matter how much money is involved. I have used some of the advice given (some implemented before it was suggested) and I realized it is not worth the grief they give.

As for the "growing a spine" comment, while probably not intended as a snide remark, comes off as one. I come from a hardcore/hardworking Jewish/Portuguese household and "No" isn't really in the cards until you leave home and are completely untethered to your family. Meaning, no bills, housing, tuition, loans, food, blah blah blah. I have been on my own for some time now (everything, and I mean EVERYTHING is in my name and not tied to them) and they still try to guilt me using the whole "We took care of you" BS which doesn't work anymore.

Also, the list of rules you have provided will probably come in handy if I ever decide to do work for family, while crediting you of course.

[Jbball]

In the end, I did the cleanup and refresh and it took 4 hours. They paid me $200, which immediately went to buying a new Xbox which died that night.

Looks like Microsoft pwnd another gamer.

[Jackofalltrades]

Yea but unlike all of the faults, mine wasn't covered by the extended warranty. The A/V port just decided to crap out on me. I thought it was the TV at first, but my PS2 worked fine. I bought a 360 arcade and used the old wires and it connected fine.

[Jbball]

Weird, I had an xbox, but decided to never buy a 360 due to the RRoD stories I've read. My son just finished breaking our ps3, so I have to have Sony fix it for $150.

[protege]

Ugh. I hate doing tech support for relatives...

For example, I was over at my grandmother's. She's in her 80s, and uses her computer mainly to play solitaire, freecell...and to type up her hospital volunteer group newsletters. Not a power user, in other words Most of her "support issues" are easily fixed--she'll drag the toolbar to the right of the screen, accidentally change the fonts, etc., all of which can easily be fixed over the phone. No real problems there, and she does pay me. Not in cash, but in food

But, Saturday night pissed me off. I was over there, putting her porch furniture away, and she mentioned something about why she couldn't watch DVDs on her computer. I'd installed a DVD drive, but until then, she couldn't view the discs I'd burned for her. (I'd taken the old home movies, which were on VHS, and burned them onto a few DVDs for her. The tapes being rather old, and all that.) Anyway, I spent a good hour trying to get that goddamn DVD player software downloaded and installed...to no avail.

As that was going on, she then asked me to take a look at the phone. Not a big deal, or so I thought...

For one reason or another, she was getting a message that her mailbox was full. So, I got out the manual, found out how to clear it, and all was good. Or so I thought. No sooner do I do that, when she started on about how I didn't know what I was doing. Never mind that the phone's mailbox was empty. Seems she had a *separate* voicemail box with *Verizon* and *that* one was full. Did she tell me that little bit of info? Of course not!

So after finding that out, I was a bit annoyed. There's no option on the phone system to clear that out, and no way on the website either. Needless to say, Grandma was a bit pissed about having to call Verizon...

Now I see where my father gets it from.

All summer long, I got to hear about how his Crapaq was having issues. (I've ranted about this POS before--it's the same one that had its last anti-virus def update back in 1982 or so). Yet, buying a new machine was "too expensive," since "this one still worked"

Needless to say, after getting screamed at because it didn't work...I soon grew tired of it. Then when he finally did get a new computer (which he hates, BTW), I took the Crapaq apart, and beat the shit out of it with various sledgehammers

[Samaliel]

You call it sledgehammer. I call it "therapy".

[Jay 2K Winger]

I do tech support stuff for the folks, as well, but in my case, I don't charge them for it because they're kind enough to let me live at home rent-free. So tech support, among other chores around the home, I consider as my part in payment for staying there.

Most of the problems are minor ones, and I'll show my mother-- the chief offender when it comes to computer issues-- how I fixed it. That said, I'm not afraid to tell them when something is outside my purview. "This is more complex than I can figure out," or "I don't know how to get the computer to stay powered on long enough to make a full fix." In those cases, I'll recommend the Geek Squad at Best Buy.

Fortunately, my mother's fairly even-tempered and she knows enough not to try to guilt-trip me anymore or play the martyr. I wised up to those tactics.

[Blade_Raver]

As soon as they saw the numbers they got pissed. They wanted me to do the work for next to nothing. They wanted to pay for parts and then give me $100 for all of the work. I explained to them that this wouldn't even cover the car and they decided to pull the parent-card and say I was lucky to get that because "I may be good, but I don't deserve full pay without a diploma."

I worked at CompUSA, the techs who worked there didn't have a diploma. They still charged their customers $100/hr + parts at retail value for the work they wanted done.

Weak excuse by your family. A diploma has no indication in IT regarding how much you deserve to get paid. If you're skilled and know what you're doing, then you deserve to be paid as much as a "professional."

I give free tech support to my parents mostly because I can afford to. If I was hurting for money, I'd tell them and they'd pay me.

I also had a cousin who only talks to me whenever he wants something. I told him what my rates were, he said he wants it free because he's family. I promptly told him to go fuck himself. I don't feel guilty for it one bit either.

You're not their labor whore. Stand up for yourself and make your money. If they can't pay, they can go pay someone else to fix their problems.

-- Edit --

If they're insistent upon the diploma, tell them to pay for tuition + extra expenses and you'll give them all the free tech support they need, granted it doesn't hinder your studies.

[Kiwi]

You're not their labor whore.

Hmm I believe you would be paid if you were a labour whore, it's the labour sluts that do it for free