Sorry, I'm Not Paid to Undergo Religious Conversion On The Clock

[Mike Taylor]

NOTE: Do NOT turn this into FRATCHING thread.


This is a strange one from a few weeks ago.

I had a fellow come in who needed some help with some MP3 accessories, headphones specifically. Okay, no problem. I show him what we have. He asks which ones are best for what and we generally make small talk. Somehow, the conversation gets to him having been in a motorcycle crash and getting a metal plate in his head. No big deal, we're right next to a motorcycle shop and some of their customers come over and get stuff from us and a couple have been in wrecks.

Here's where it goes into weird land. He talks about dying in the crash and going to heaven and meeting Jesus. Okay, it's possible he was clinically dead while they were trying to get him to the hospital. Get this, he tells me he was dead (not in a coma-- DEAD) for 3 1/2 WEEKS! He then proceeds to tell me he was sent back to convert others.

3 1/2 weeks! I'm sorry, even in the Bible Jesus was only dead for 3 days. The process of decay would have really done a number on this customer after close to a month.

I don't get them in volume like some of you, but when they do show up they are WEIRD!

EDIT: To clarify, this guy was proselytizing to me.

[ShootMePlease]

I genuinely believe there should be a People of Big Yellow Tag website to compliment the People of Wally World website. We sure do meet some interesting ones. You never really know what to say to stuff like that.

[Zellie Crescent]

We get them alot at Asshats & Pinheads too.

[EvilEmpryss]

Okay Kids, this is what happens when you refuse to wear a helmet when you ride a motorcycle!

[Zeddmore]

You didn't get bitten, I hope?

You did, didn't you? It has begun.

[ralerin]

Every so often I get a religious person who passes me a pamphlet or I get stopped on the street. My response is to politely tell them "I'm reading the Bible for myself/I'm happy being in my own religion/No thank you" and then walk away.

Here's a small gem that happened to Dad today.

He got stopped by a woman who began with the usual "Would you like to be saved today? Jesus loves you, just pray the Jesus prayer with me."

Dad said, "No thank you, I believe Jesus loves me anyway."

Woman said in the snottiest tone ever: "Well that's what YOU think!" and walked away. Real way to get someone converted there.

[dalesys]

When I'm tempted to proselytize I remember:

One man’s theology is another man’s belly laugh. -- Excerpts from the Notebooks of Lazarus Long

... because I can see some of the parts of my own beliefs.

[Hyena Dandy]

Woman said in the snottiest tone ever: "Well that's what YOU think!" and walked away. Real way to get someone converted there.

Way to understand your own religion there, lady. :O





And look, I hate to tell that guy but if he was COMPLETELY dead for three and a half weeks, then he'd be waking up with more than just a plate in his head. He'd be waking up six feet under. And with embalming fluid in his brain.

I think that accident must have messed up his brain pretty bad. At least he wasn't saying "I came back to convert people... NOW PRAY WITH ME, BITCH! "

I'd rather have a crazy guy who thinks he's a zombie than a crazy guy who thinks he's a zombie and won't let me leave until I undo the top button of my shirt (because I have a cross on, see. Not because they're crazy fetishists).



Seriously. My job isn't to listen to proselytizers. And if it was, they'd have to pay me a lot more.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Should I ever wind up in that same situation, I'm spending the rest of my days spreading the gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

[Exaspera]

Years ago here in TX, you could see many cars with bumper stickers that stated "When the Rapture Comes, This Car Will Be Driverless." My Dad saw a lady in a parking lot getting out of a car that had said sticker and asked her what it meant. She replied, "If you don't know, then you're NOT going to Heaven!!" And walked away.

[Catianna]

And here I thought that I got the crazies that want to convert me... Wow, work is not the place to even have those conversations. Yet, as many who have worked with me know I still get them from time to time. I wear my pentacle where it can be seen if the shirt I have on has any kind of scoop to the neck and if I am wearing a v-neck that is low enough my tattooed pentacle can also be seen. The worst I had was the lady that kept telling me I was going to Hell as she was backing out the shop doors.My mangers allowed me to tell one lady that she would have to go to another line as I was not to serve her since she had complained to both the management and other cashiers that she could not believe that they had hired a witch. Good luck with the odd ones, they seem to come out in force. Although, unless your managers are anything like mine I would not suggest saying to the next person who tells you that you are going to Hell what I do... I like to tell them that I will bring the marshmallows and we can have smores when I get there. Yeah, I'm a smartass what can I say, the manger was too busy laughing to yell at me for it.
Oops, longer than I thought it would be.

[Exaspera]

I've told people that the Mexican food is tons better down there!

[hinakiba777]

Poor guy. A bash to the noggin like that can really scramble your circuits.

[Mike Taylor]

You didn't get bitten, I hope?

You did, didn't you? It has begun.

The weather down here isn't kind to zombies.

Anyway, I don't get the weird ones all that often and it's never the same thing twice. I'm kind of excited to see who/what the next one is.

[Mr Hero]

It just so happens that your SC here was only mostly dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there's usually only one thing you can do.