Sorry, I'm Not Paid to Undergo Religious Conversion On The Clock

[Treasure]

"Have you found Jesus/God?"

"I didn't know he was missing, aren't you the one supposed to be keeping track of him?"

or my sister's response

"Damnit! He got out of the cage, again!?"

[PatchO'Black]

"Have you found Jesus/God?"

"I didn't know he was missing, aren't you the one supposed to be keeping track of him?"

or my sister's response

"Damnit! He got out of the cage, again!?"

Other responses:

"Have you checked behind the sofa?"

"Never lost him to begin with."

"Yes, and now it's my turn to hide while he counts to 100!"

[SailorMan]

... we stuck up a poster saying 'Vote Cthulhu; At Least He Admits He Is Evil.'

Cthulhuahua found this extremely funny! He snorted 'Kibbles and Bits' onto my keyboard and screen.

[Draevis]

It may not be about religion, but about the British General Election not long ago, which could be construed as something similar: everyone else was painting up red, yellow, blue or green signs of 'Vote for XYZ!!'; we stuck up a poster saying 'Vote Cthulhu; At Least He Admits He Is Evil'.

I once saw a bumper sticker to that effect "Vote Cthulhu! Why vote for the lesser of two evils?"

[Dreamstalker]

I almost want one of the local proselytizers to come in so I can start chanting to Cthulhu (IA IA CTHULHU FHTAGN)

I actually did that one day when I was walking in front of BU and a woman came up to me, grabbed my hand (oh no you didn't) and asked in a frantic voice if I was praying for all the students who didn't believe in God. She said "Thank you!" and walked off to accost someone else; a few students hanging out on a nearby bench proceeded to laugh their butts off.

Even funnier was that I was wearing my pentacle and Ray's Occult shirt at the time.

[PepperElf]

if he was dead for 3 and half weeks, how did he combat (rigor mortis and the flies eating away at his flesh)?

i mean seriously, by that time he'd be 6 feet under and not looking too pretty.

i'm thinking he was in a coma and just doesn't understand the difference between COMA and DEAD. They both have 4 letters after all, and 2 vowels.

[Mike Taylor]

if he was dead for 3 and half weeks, how did he combat (rigor mortis and the flies eating away at his flesh)?

i mean seriously, by that time he'd be 6 feet under and not looking too pretty.

i'm thinking he was in a coma and just doesn't understand the difference between COMA and DEAD. They both have 4 letters after all, and 2 vowels.

Personally, I think it was one of two things. He was either:

A) Batshit crazy.

or

B) A con artist used to dealing with stupid people.

[Pagan]

Here's where it goes into weird land. He talks about dying in the crash and going to heaven and meeting Jesus. Okay, it's possible he was clinically dead while they were trying to get him to the hospital. Get this, he tells me he was dead (not in a coma-- DEAD) for 3 1/2 WEEKS! He then proceeds to tell me he was sent back to convert others.

The plate's not doing it's job. He needs a hat lined with tinfoil to keep the rest of the rays out.

It just so happens that your SC here was only mostly dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there's usually only one thing you can do.

Ninja edited my previous post. No worries I'm still alive. To celebrate this fact I'm inviting you all for dinner tomorrow at midnight at my estate in PENNSYLVANIA!

And here I thought you had just been watching "The Princess Bride" again.

It may not be about religion, but about the British General Election not long ago, which could be construed as something similar: everyone else was painting up red, yellow, blue or green signs of 'Vote for XYZ!!'; we stuck up a poster saying 'Vote Cthulhu; At Least He Admits He Is Evil'.

Did this guy run, too?

Malcolm Peter Brian Telescope Adrian Blackpool Rock Stoatgobbler John Raw Vegetable Brrroooo Norman Michael (rings bell) (blows whistle) Edward (sounds car horn) (does train impersonation) (sounds buzzer) Thomas Moo... (sings) "We'll keep a welcome in the..." (fires gun) William (makes silly noise) "Raindrops keep falling on my" (weird noise) "Don't sleep in the subway" (cuckoo cuckoo) Naaoooo... Smith.

"Damnit! He got out of the cage, again!?"

If it's alright with your sister, I am so using that next time!

[SongsOfDragons]

Did this guy run, too?

Malcolm Peter Brian Telescope Adrian Blackpool Rock Stoatgobbler John Raw Vegetable Brrroooo Norman Michael (rings bell) (blows whistle) Edward (sounds car horn) (does train impersonation) (sounds buzzer) Thomas Moo... (sings) "We'll keep a welcome in the..." (fires gun) William (makes silly noise) "Raindrops keep falling on my" (weird noise) "Don't sleep in the subway" (cuckoo cuckoo) Naaoooo... Smith.

Awesome name...well we did have the Roman Party running for the European elections not too long ago. As in, Roman Legion, Hail Caesar Party. C'mon admit it, give the Roman Army some machine guns and planes and their tactics would whup the arse of anyone you care to name. I was so tempted to vote for them

As to the FSM, it was a toss-up between me getting a metal Him or a metal Autobot symbol for the back of my Ford KA. The Autobot symbol won, however.

[cinema guy]

...well we did have the Roman Party running for the European elections not too long ago.

We had the 'Bus-Pass Elvis Party' at the general election. Their candidate is a member of the Church of Militant Elvis. His policies included allowing men to build a moat around their houses so John Terry can't have an affair with their wives.

[South Texan]

The title of this thread is: Sorry, I'm Not Paid to Undergo Religious Conversion On The Clock. I now have read the original post three times, and have yet to see where the man attempted to convert anyone.

Am I missing something?

[Mike Taylor]

The title of this thread is: Sorry, I'm Not Paid to Undergo Religious Conversion On The Clock. I now have read the original post three times, and have yet to see where the man attempted to convert anyone.

Am I missing something?

I should probably go back in and add the fact that he was proselytizing to me.

This should have been the giveaway, though.

He then proceeds to tell me he was sent back to convert others.

[Can I Help Your A$$?]

What I can't understand is why people can't just Accept "Bob?" I mean, total salvation or TRIPLE your money back! How can you beat that?

[Mr Hero]

I prefer the religion that lets you obtain superpowers if you burn money.

[Whiskey]

I prefer the religion that lets you obtain superpowers if you burn money.

And here I've been burning money just for the smell.