Touchy feely customers that won't take the hint.

[Grrrrrrr]

I know. It was just harassment. It started out with him doing stuff like sitting too close to me/practically on top of me. Found out he had a crush on me, set him straight, told him we could still be friends [that ended up being really dumb], he behaved for a while, and then started doing all that other stuff.

The best part was how my mom came along with me for "support" and ended up yelling at me for 10 minutes in front of everyone about how I should have "just gone to her, she would have handled it" [neglecting, of course, the fact that I DID go to her several times and she said it was nothing]. And how I didn't know the whole story because the boy was going there because he was suicidal, why couldn't I be understanding. [Also the same woman who ignored me when I was suicidal--and my friend even called the police on me to stop me from hurting myself. Took months after that to get into therapy.]

Greatest part is how I went to that chorus from 15-21, and that's how they treated me in the end. Good riddance to bad rubbish. The director just didn't want to deal with it, because the kid was one of her favorite member's sons, and I was just this really quiet, shy girl who sang really softly and didn't make a fuss...until then!

Wow. It sounds like the chorus to you was all sorts of fun. 16 and suicidal I can sympathise with, but this "just ignore it" crap, wtf? Sorry about what you went through and the lack of support from your friends and family while you were dealing with that situation. But, it's like I always say: It's never a big deal when someone else has to deal with it.

[MadMike]

One of the last times someone touched me without me expecting it I accidentally threw a blind right.

I did the same thing to a coworker who thought it would be just hiliarious to grab me while I was crouched down and stocking a low shelf. I spun around, still crouched, threw a swing, and almost gave the guy a sex change.

He didn't apologize, but he never did that to me again. And I have to say, the look on his face was priceless.

[Android Kaeli]

There's only a very select few customers that can touch my hands and arms, but the other customers can back off. I don't mind it if they do it, but when every other customer decides that I need a pat on the shoulder or my hand held, then it gets really annoying and fast.

That, and I really don't know where the customers hands have been. For all I know they could've been to the bathroom and not washed their hands, then decided to put their hands on someone else's shoulder. That's just, ew.

I back up when someone starts to reach for me, that normally works. I've even told a couple of customers that didn't get the hint, that I'm not doing it because I don't like being touched, I just don't want *them* putting their hands on *my* arm.

[TonyF]

The only time I put my hands on a customer/co-worker/other company employee is when I shake their hand.

Actually, I think the only touching that's acceptable at work is a handshake or a back pat. Y'know, the stuff you see coming and the kind of thing you're used to. Anything else and the violator gets what he/she deserves. Blindsiding is even worse. People do have reflexes, you know.

I did the same thing to a coworker who thought it would be just hiliarious to grab me while I was crouched down and stocking a low shelf. I spun around, still crouched, threw a swing, and almost gave the guy a sex change.

He didn't apologize, but he never did that to me again. And I have to say, the look on his face was priceless.

That sorta happened once to me too. I was deep into putting some things away in our warehouse. Now, I didn't even hear my co-worker, who is a friend of mine, walk in. He slaps the back of my head. Within a second, I turn around and shove him across the warehouse. He got the point but I wasn't an asshole about it afterward.

And, only once out of my five year stint at this place did I ever get blindsided. While doing a reset, I was studying the paper. All of a sudden, I feel this hand come down on my right shoulder, hard. I turned around and put my left fist up and almost threw it. The poor old man was a bit startled.

Why do people continue to blindside us when the possible outcomes include a punch to the head, a tackle, or a mule kick to the groin?

[Eisa]

Wow. It sounds like the chorus to you was all sorts of fun. 16 and suicidal I can sympathise with, but this "just ignore it" crap, wtf? Sorry about what you went through and the lack of support from your friends and family while you were dealing with that situation. But, it's like I always say: It's never a big deal when someone else has to deal with it.

Yeah. And I kept thinking--if he's suicidal, why is he being dragged to women's chorus practices, you know? Instead of...I don't know...getting therapy? Yep. The ironic part is that my dad supported me the whole time when he was an abusive prick all my life. Pretty cool, I guess.

zombiequeen, your mom sounds awful! My mom's said some pretty hurtful invalidating things about sexual assault, but not that I [or my sister] was lying. *wants to slap your mom now*

Gah, I wish more people would understand that unwanted touching is bad, no you don't want it, and no it doesn't matter if you're male or female. I know I've seen the kind of attitude that "it's ok he wants it" around guys who are touched when they don't want to be, and that's just as not cool as "she was asking for it."

[zombiequeen]

zombiequeen, your mom sounds awful! My mom's said some pretty hurtful invalidating things about sexual assault, but not that I [or my sister] was lying. *wants to slap your mom now*

Meh, I'm kind of over it now, but it still hurts. Worst part is, I'm at her house until my husband and I can afford a place of our own. He has been very clear to her that she cannot treat me like crap though. She did pull the whole "well if it happened, IF, then you must have done something to deserve it." My husband, at the time fiancee, told me to go pack some clothes and tell my brother to feed my fish, because he wouldn't stand her acting like that.

I had to work with that guy this summer, I told my buddy the night cook and he made sure the creeper didn't ever pick up food for his section. I love coworkers who get it and try to help out.

[Whiskey]

I had to work with that guy this summer, I told my buddy the night cook and he made sure the creeper didn't ever pick up food for his section. I love coworkers who get it and try to help out.

Its good you at least have decent coworkers

[zombiequeen]

Its good you at least have decent coworkers

Yeah, this guy and I have been friends for the three years we've worked together. When he finally learned why I was so panicky, he took it into his own hands and told the creeper off. He even filed a complaint against him because I was too scared to. I'm going to really miss working with some of my coworkers.

[Racket_Man]

I'm gonna have to disagree somewhat here.

Some people are demonstrative. Meaning they are more inclined to display their feelings. Most folks mean no harm if they put their hand on your shoulder or back when asking something. I've had customers do that to me, and it doesn't really bother me. I've never gotten a skeezy vibe from anyone.

Having said this, I understand that some folks are not accepting of this and would prefer that you kept your hands to yourself. I certainly respect that, but I do feel your reaction was a little harsh. If he did not touch you and you touched him, that could be construed as assault on your part.

You should be glad he didn't report you to your boss. In the scheme of things, what's more important : your "personal space" or your job ?

unfortunately, you can't assess intent, harmless or not; best bet is hands off until the person says otherwise.

those old men were skeezy indeed. oO

OK this has been discussed before

First the original Dear Abby letter that started it all March 23, 2008 second letter
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20080323

the original CS thread that caused the outrage here
http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...hing+employees

The followup thread here on CS complete with letters/replies submitted by various memebers.
http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...hing+employees

Now I can not find the actual thread here on CS but Abby DID do another column about service animals and how you SHOULD NOT pet, bother, disturb or other wise distract a service animal. yes it is OK for some person to touch, grab, pull, pull hair, smack on the shoulder, or invade the personal space of an employee but it is NOT NOT NOT NOT OK to disturb a service animal

OH and Abby has recently as this year done another letter on not disturbing a service animal
http://www.dispatch.com/live/content...-like-pet.html

ShootMePlease there is NO WHERE in most job description that require you to be physically molested or assulted or harressed by a customer. me having a job does NOT mean I give up all rights that any other person enjoys job or NOT.

[Mytical]

No offense to anybody, but if somebody touches me they are more likely to come away without a hand. Not because I want to, but I am VERY touchy about my personal space (I allow a few exceptions of course). Somebody touches me, they risk setting off my proximity alarm, and then it is on them. No touchy the Gentle Giant without permission. So I sympathize with the OP.

[ShootMePlease]

ShootMePlease there is NO WHERE in most job description that require you to be physically molested or assulted or harressed by a customer. me having a job does NOT mean I give up all rights that any other person enjoys job or NOT.

Oh, hey Racket_Man :

Please read what I wrote AFTER that. Thank You.

[MoonCat]

And how I didn't know the whole story because the boy was going there because he was suicidal

And how was that YOUR problem? Who drags a kid into chorus as treatment for suicidal intentions? What he was doing to you was not just sexual harrassment, as bad as that is; it was assault. Hitting you on the head? Assault. They were using his depression as an excuse for anything he did. Classic denial and refusal to deal with the real problem, taking it out on you.

I'm sorry you had to go through all that and that they didn't protect you.

[Boozy]

Apparently people feel very strongly about this subject, since a few posts have been a bit...testy.

Because most everyone here works in customer service, it would be nice to discuss this topic here. I'd hate to say "Take it to Fratching". Unfortunately, if we can't all calm down and hold our tempers, we'll need to close the thread.

Everyone take a deep breath, and carry on.

[Anakah]

I do NOT like being touched either. We all have personal space bubbles and those jerks should stay outta yours! If they're repeat offenders, they're probabaly doing it on purpose. Have you mentioned any of this to your manager?

I don't think it was an innocent comment. The "on your knees." There's no way it could be. It was said on purpose. Jobs may be "scarce" but there's no reason for anybody to try and fire you for this. And why should you have to put up with that shit anyway? You get bitched out alll day just to get groped by people and having them sexually harass you? No.

[Eisa]

And how was that YOUR problem? Who drags a kid into chorus as treatment for suicidal intentions? What he was doing to you was not just sexual harrassment, as bad as that is; it was assault. Hitting you on the head? Assault. They were using his depression as an excuse for anything he did. Classic denial and refusal to deal with the real problem, taking it out on you.

I'm sorry you had to go through all that and that they didn't protect you.

Thank you, MoonCat. I don't know who does--I guess it would have maybe helped as some kind of getting him around people kind of thing...but I would have thought that only a therapist should make that call. Most of it happened right in front of people and they ignored it. It really came to a head at a Christmas party where he: hit the top of my head, sneaked up behind me and scared me, grabbed my wrists and pulled, tried to snap my phone closed out of my hand, and shoved me so hard I nearly knocked someone over. Later? "Oh, that didn't happen." [Oh, and I hate when people use depression as an excuse. I was depressed. I didn't assault people. Self-control, people....]

It was a slight consolation that my bf ended up talking to the international part of the organization ['cause it was a chorus organization] and they said the local chorus acted abominably. But I never pursued it because it's not like I wanted to be back in chorus with people who acted that way. ...I might have to make this a whole thread somewhere lol.

But yeah. Personal space bubbles. Need.