Touchy feely customers that won't take the hint.

[Grrrrrrr]

Update.

Well, today I have gotten my first verbal warning ever. My crime? Not smiling enough.
Now, I know the store SAYS everyone has to smile, but like, 1 in 5 that work at my store smile at customers, and that is only on occasion. I wonder if this verbal reprimand could be about something else...

3 missed day in 14 months during a call in sick epidemic, being flexible on my schedule when people do call in sick, working my butt off behind the pharmacy counter and otc while helping out in other departments because we don't have enough people, and I get a warning for not smiling. Grrrrrrr.

[Whiskey]

Well, today I have gotten my first verbal warning ever. My crime? Not smiling enough.

Ive been in retail about 2 years, not long considering some of the veterans here, but smiling when someone looks at you becomes a reflex at some point. I'm a mean mofo, but if someone looks at me, my face makes a smile. Its uncontrollable. Not a bad thing.

I dont think i've ever heard anyone getting written up for smiling infrequently though. Then again I got a lecture because people complained that I expected them to do their jobs so theres that.

[C. Cecil Ivanish]

A lot of italians I've been around are EXTREMELY touchy. You could just try the straight forward "Sir, I would appreciate it if you would refrain." and motion to his hands?

Hm.
OK: I am Italian, and I do happen to be pretty "touchy". *WITH MY FRIENDS*, though. I would never dare - and I wouldn't find acceptable - to touch in any way a perfect stranger while he/she is serving me as a part of his/her job. I have been educated to apologise even if I happen to touch the hand of a cashier while giving/receiving change for a cash purchase. And it is not the living in Britain that thought me that - it was my parents when I was a small child.

Admittedly, though, the "personal space" thing is a bit different according to one's culture. For me, five feet (about 1.5 metres if I'm not wrong) are *a lot* of "personal space". Three are more than respectful, and I usually find two more than acceptable. You will find that in some cultures (and even in some parts of Italy, to be honest) 30 centimetres - one foot - are considered quite enough. Maybe not with a total stranger - but two feet usually are enough in those cases.

Anyway - I guess that it should be more than acceptable (even from your managers' point of view) if you said in clear words to such "creepy old men" to please respect your personal space and your desire to not be touched. Maybe if *you* complained about that with management and asked how to react to avoid disciplinary issues but also to avoid personal discomfort you'd be safe on that side?

[Marmalady]

While on the subject of personal space, I don't know if any of the other ladies on here have had the same experience as I did while I was pregnant?
It seemed to me that other people saw my 'bump' as public property for some reason - time and time again they would pat the bump, or try to, even those who wouldn't normally have dreamt of touching someone they didn't know well (if at all).
I used to get really annoyed about it (heaven knows when you're pregnant you get quite enough of being pulled about, prodded and poked by medical staff without everyone else joining in) but if I complained I just got dismissed as 'hormonal'.........

[MelodiousBubbles]

I have a rule. If I haven't initiated a hug with at some point, or have never hung out with you outside of work, you do NOT hug or touch me. I've had coworkers warn this one particularly touchy kid I started working with back in May that getting his hands anywhere near my general vicinity will result in me having a new trophy on my wall.

I have a few exceptions. Favorite customers get hugs. If a small child runs up and gives me a hug, I'll pat them on the head and send them back to the parents. Everyone else better keep their god damned hands to themselves.

[firecat88]

I have a rule. If I haven't initiated a hug with at some point, or have never hung out with you outside of work, you do NOT hug or touch me. I've had coworkers warn this one particularly touchy kid I started working with back in May that getting his hands anywhere near my general vicinity will result in me having a new trophy on my wall.

I have a few exceptions. Favorite customers get hugs. If a small child runs up and gives me a hug, I'll pat them on the head and send them back to the parents. Everyone else better keep their god damned hands to themselves.

I am a hugger. I will say that right now. However, it's only with my family and very good friends. If you fall into neither category, or if I have not initiated a hug/hand shake/poke war (for those with deviantArt accounts, think the 'Turbo Poke' emoticon), then do not touch.

In my class last semester, there was this woman who apparently thought herself a close enough friend that she could randomly pat me on the back and on the shoulder as she was walking behind me. As I mentioned a while back in a previous post, I do not like for people to sneak up behind me (or just generally stand behind me and be close enough that the crotch-to-elbow distance is, unfortunately for *them*, small enough that they'll not like me if I jump and hit them). I like it even less so for people to come up behind me and touch me. Thus, this woman quietly worked her way onto my 'People I don't like very much' list.

[Solumina]

I am also a rather touchy person, even when I don't really know someone but even so I get that other people aren't and so I make sure to pay attention to a person's body language. If the body language is subtle I may not pick up on it but things like backing away are pretty damn obvious, even to people who are pretty dense so I'd bet anything they are doing it just because they can get away with it. Tell them firmly "Sorry but I don't like to be touched" or "Please keep your hands to yourself". Be as polite as you can but you need to say the words and once you have said them tell your sup and document it so that if they continue with their creepy behavior or if they complain about you being rude or mean to them your ass is covered.

[SuperRTL]

While on the subject of personal space, I don't know if any of the other ladies on here have had the same experience as I did while I was pregnant?
It seemed to me that other people saw my 'bump' as public property for some reason - time and time again they would pat the bump, or try to, even those who wouldn't normally have dreamt of touching someone they didn't know well (if at all).
I used to get really annoyed about it (heaven knows when you're pregnant you get quite enough of being pulled about, prodded and poked by medical staff without everyone else joining in) but if I complained I just got dismissed as 'hormonal'.........

I have a t-shirt I wear when I'm out shopping that says "Unless you put it in or are taking it out, don't touch!"

When I was pregnant with my son, my in-laws would actively invite strangers to come "meet" their grandson and rub my belly. One of them snuck up on me and got an elbow to the nose. The people I work with are generally pretty good about it. The few who weren't got the hint when I told them to please not touch the bump. A couple got huffy and said "well, I didn't mean to offend you, just trying to show I care". Duly noted, now, hands to yourself.

[Astrokitty]

Just pitching in my two copper pieces: Inappropriate / uncomfortable touching crosses lines of gender, age, race, species, and number of tentacles. Those pervy creeps are doing the wrong thing. And the comment is plain harassment.

I'm another one with PTSD. Nearly punched out my coworker the other day, who has learned not to sneak up behind me.

[ThirdGenRetail]

Being that my mother's not so touchy, I'm not so touchy myself. People touching me just... Bugs me. I've willingly hugged a total of 4 unrelated people in my life so far, and only because I know/knew them. That I can remember, anyway, I don't much remember from childhood... But, I don't like touching. I'll just smile and nod when a customer touches me, and as soon as they're gone... I'm wiping the spot they touched, trying to brush off the feeling it leaves behind. Last time, I actually got one of the sanitizing hand wipes we now have for free use and SCRUBBED my shoulder where a customer had touched me. Now, I don't really hold anything against them, they're just being friendly... I just don't like to be touched, and I'm far too shy/polite to tell them off(Though bring a used propane tank in and I find that woman-roar...). So I just smile, nod... Brush myself off quite literally...

Doesn't help that most of the customers I end up getting, and all the ones that are touchy... Are kinda-creepy guys. But it's not middle-aged guys, it's really really old guys, like in their 70's or 80's(Or older... I've seen a couple guys sporting WWII Veteran hats, but they're not creepy. Maybe it's that 40's military boot camp style...). Something about the way they just... LOOK at you... Gives me the creeps...

[zombiequeen]

Ive been in retail about 2 years, not long considering some of the veterans here, but smiling when someone looks at you becomes a reflex at some point. I'm a mean mofo, but if someone looks at me, my face makes a smile. Its uncontrollable. Not a bad thing.

I do this too, especially if I'm upset or being yelled at. I also cry spontaneously so it can be pretty annoying.

Just pitching in my two copper pieces: Inappropriate / uncomfortable touching crosses lines of gender, age, race, species, and number of tentacles. Those pervy creeps are doing the wrong thing. And the comment is plain harassment.

I'm sure the more tentacles you have, the harder it is to prevent innapropriate or uncomfortable/unwarranted touching.

[Sarcastro]

If a customer invades your personal space... invade theirs. They get two feet away from your face, you close in to two inches. Flip it. If you do it gradually it's even better. Wait, no. Don't take my advise. I think I've just gone insane from working customer service for 12 years. But seriously, it's fun.

[Virulent]

I do this too, especially if I'm upset or being yelled at. I also cry spontaneously so it can be pretty annoying.

I smile reflexively when I'm uncomfortable/afraid/angry. I think it's some sort of instinctual response like "I don't pose a threat; don't attack me."

Does anyone else do that?

Sometimes the angry-smile really is just baring teeth, though.

I wasn't touched much in my home growing up, and now I don't like being touched unless I've already initiated that sort of intimacy with the other person. Coming from the Southeast (US), avoiding hugs from everybody and their cousin was difficult and really probably didn't earn me many points, at least til I learned to gracefully avoid it. Some people truly don't mean ill and don't understand why someone else doesn't want that kind of contact. On the other hand, there are people like that old fogey with the "knees" comment who do mean ill. And on that other tentacle, some people you may inform that you dislike being touched will actively TRY to touch you--either because they find your discomfort entertaining or because they think they can "cure" you of this obvious sickness.

[Whiskey]

I smile reflexively when I'm uncomfortable/afraid/angry. I think it's some sort of instinctual response like "I don't pose a threat; don't attack me."

Does anyone else do that?

Mines more of "youre about to fucking die." I don't think i've ever not laughed/smiled directly before a fight. I'm also insane so theres that to take into account

If a customer invades your personal space... invade theirs.

i dont think the OP's customers would have minded their space being invaded :\

[zombiequeen]

lots of good and relevant stuff that pertains to me

Space Invaders! Now with more being punched in the face!
Yeah I smile like that too, but sometimes it's me gloating because either I'm going to get away with it, I'm about to cry, or I will really enjoy destroying someone.