No SUVs for workers, and "retards"

[chainedbarista]

Betcha that guy actually drives a Hummer and spends a fortune on carbon offsets to compensate.

oh, he's compensating for something, alright.
as for the #2, well, given her lack of class and underwhelming math skills, i wonder who fit that bill?

[Blade_Raver]

In response to the first story.
"You're a prime example of how $20k+ is enough to buy a car but not a lick of class. You can leave now."

[Bloodsoul]

Ah, let nature take care of itself. You ever see the Living Forest from Mortal Kombat II? Those trees don't take shit from nobody!

SC: This! It's marked 10 for $10 and it's priced at one dollar!! It should be ten cents.

*brain a'splodes*

[Geek King]

Bah, if the first lady really cared she'd be in a Honda Clarity (No gas or battery, Liquid Hydrogen Fuel Cell, in experimental sales in California only). I really believe it may be the best alternative fuel car so far.

Second lady would have likely landed me in jail after perp walking them to the door sans groceries. I probably would have thrown in an Al Bundy exit as well.

[Cerys]

I'd be more tempted to throw in a Ted Bundy exit.

[Jester]

Ahem. Allow me to pipe in here.

CN: One of your workers has an SUV! I want a manger!
me: Okay.<calls M>
CN: Okay Okay?? That's all you have to say to me?? One of the workers here owns an SUV!!!! That's not right! God damnit I bet you're the one! You worthless b-strd, my daughter knows more about the environment than you!!! She watches Captain Planet!! You are ruining the environment!!

*I* drive an SUV, and my SUV and I both say FUUUUuuuuUUCK YOU!!!

As for your idiot daughter, now that she's in high school, perhaps it's time for her to watch something besides cartoons, don't you think?

CN: One of your workers owns an SUV my daughter saw him park it and called me! I am very concerned about this! I drive a Civic! I save trees! Your redneck, hick worker probably doesn't care.

Driving a Civic doesn't save trees. It merely kills them more slowly than driving a less efficient car. But you are still using gas, emitting carbon dioxide, and slowly, ever so slowly, you are helping the rest of the world kill off the trees.

[pause]

If you listen really carefully....you can actually hear them scream.

And the rest of the conversation should have gone something like....this.

M: Sir, I can't control what my employees drive.
CN: Well you should! I drive a Civic! I care about the environment! Who drives that SUV. Call all of your employees here now!
M: No.
CN: You can and you will!
M: Again...no.
CN: F-ck you!!!!!! I'll find out who owns it!!!You can't stop me I drive a Civic!!!( goes to leave)
A: (comes in, to M) Hi M, some person's blocking my car. i almost hit it.
CN: Aha! It's you!!! I hope you die you worthless inbred, hick!I won't move my car for you!! I'll f-cking make sure you're sorry, you worthless...
M: Okay, time for you to go. Get out now and stop harrassing my employees.
CN: No! I drive a Civic!
M : When I said get out, I meant NOW. Or I will call the police. And they don't drive Civics, either.

Speaking of how conversations should go, I have dealt with verbally abusive assholes before. I understand that the OP was in shock, but this might be how the conversation would have gone had I been at the till instead.

JESTER: Hi how are you?
SC: shut the f-ck up and serve m., retard
JESTER: Do NOT speak to me like that.
<not scanning her items>
SC: Work faster retard!!! You're a retard you know that!!! < to SCD> He's a f-ckig retard!
SCD: You're a retard!!!( i ignore her)
SC: You're a f-cking retard!
JESTER: I said, do NOT speak to me like THAT.
SC: F-cking retard!!! You have to be a retard to work here, retard!!
JESTER: I've told you twice not to speak to me like that. Now I'm going to tell you once....get out.

But my favorite part, even more than the fact that this bitch can't do math to save her life, is the ending.

SC: <hands me money, i give her the change> I have to count this 'cuz you're a f-cking retard!<counts it. You got it right!! That's bad customer service!!! TOU A RETARD!!!!

So, it's bad customer service to get the customer's change.....RIGHT?!?!?! And SHE'S calling YOU a retard? Ahem....

"I drive a Dodge Stratus!"

I might have found that skit funnier if, while growing up, I hadn't seen very similar scenes played out in many of my friends homes....and even occasionally in my own. Comedy does, after all, stem from reality.

As for the woman with the superiority complex: I've never had someone call me "retard," but the first time it happens I'm going to void everything I've scanned, log off, tell the SC "You'll need to find someone else to ring you up." Then I take everyone else to another register.

Why move yourself and everyone else? Just tell the bitch that she is done there, and it's time for her to exit the line and the premises.

When I do things that are beneficial for the environment, I do it so future generations can enjoy it, not for my own ego gratification or personal agenda.

Anyone else thing of the "Smug" episode of South Park when you read about Jerko Numero Dos?

I probably would have thrown in an Al Bundy exit as well.

Though I'm a huge fan of Married...With Children, I am at a loss. What, precisely, IS an Al Bundy exit?

I'd be more tempted to throw in a Ted Bundy exit.

Ah, this one needs no explanation. And is classic!

[ShootMePlease]

Though I'm a huge fan of Married...With Children, I am at a loss. What, precisely, IS an Al Bundy exit?

My dear Jester, remember when Kelly would bring home an especially stupid disgusting moron to meet Daddy ? And Daddy would walk the gentleman to the door, slam his face against the wall, and then throw him out the door ?

That is an Al Bundy exit.

[Bloodsoul]

So, a little more painful than an Uncle Phil exit?

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

My dear Jester, remember when Kelly would bring home an especially stupid disgusting moron to meet Daddy ? And Daddy would walk the gentleman to the door, slam his face against the wall, and then throw him out the door ?

That is an Al Bundy exit.

You want a tip? I'll give you a tip. BAM. Doors are hard.

[Stryker One]

Problems solved

SC1: If you're really that much of an environmentalist zealot, just kill yourself, on a compost pile.

SC2: Maybe this guy is right. If so, these two should be the starting point.

[Zellie Crescent]

I would've called both security and a manager as soon as she called me a retard the first time and refused to serve her, there's no way in hell I'd put up with a bitch like her. I didn't do it with the "hey woman" guy, and I won't do it with anyone. EVER.

[HappyFun Ball]

To the 1st SC "Oh good! You drive a Civic! How very environmentally conscious of you.. You DO know that a Civic still requires gas and pollutants into the air.. Get a life asshole, if you care THAT much about the environment you should walk or ride a bike"

To the 2nd SC "I refuse to serve you, you are being verbally abusive"

[Becks]

now that she's in high school, perhaps it's time for her to watch something besides cartoons, don't you think?

Just out of curiosity, does anime porn count as cartoons?

[Cerys]

Only if you don't fap.

Did I really just type that...?

[PepperElf]

^^
I totally agree re: the second incident - why wasn't security alerted?

not to mention the other customer could call the police on the threat.
and there's not a fucking thing the bitches can do about it