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Oi....days off. Yay~
Bacon Flavour
Me: "The only thing I have there is the <hotel> for $109"
SC: "Do you have anything else?"
Me: "That's the only thing I have."
SC: "What about the Plaza?"
Me: "This is the ONLY thing I have."
I'm going to have to try a different word. No on in Vegas seems to have even the foggiest hickory smoked tuna flippin' idea what the word "Only" means. Perhaps I should be leading in with "There is no other choice beyond the <hotel>" or "Your current options amount to a sum total of one.". Do you think I'm holding out on you? Do you think we keep a couple hotels in reserve for the callers who are "smart" enough to irrationally persist in asking the same question over and over till we reward them with another hotel and/or delicious bacon flavoured Dentabone dog treat?
Bad dog, no biscuit.
Vacancy
Me: "The only thing I have left in Vegas is the <hotel> for $109"
SC: "Do you have anything cheaper?"
Why yes, actually I do. I'm still offering that rodent pee basin in the grime ridden alley between the hangers. It was a steal last week and we still have vacancies available there tonight. I just hope your shots are up to date.
Rollin' Rollin'
Me: "Good morning, <company>-"
SC: "I wanna….what's it called….<Kara's company>…..<Kara's company>…<Kara's company> somethin'"
Me: "Pardon? This is <company>, not <Kara's company>."
SC: "I wanna download ringtone's on ma <Kara's company>."
Me: "This is <company>, not <Kara's company>."
SC: "This ain't <Kara's company>?"
Me: "No, this is <company>."
SC: "Not <Kara's company>?"
Me: "No."
This is not <Kara's company>. Nor can I provide you with 30 second wav files of Proud Mary being played by a jug band composed entirely of family members who are dangerous close from a genetic standpoint.
Like, wtf?
SC: "Like, omigawd, don't you people know how to run a business?!"
Easy, Paris. I'm sure <company> would love to hear business advice from someone who's spent more money on The Gap then they have on their education.
Map of the Problematique
Me: "and what's the problem?"
SC: "Manitoba"
Hmmm, not that I'm unwilling mind you, but this seems to be a problem far beyond the scope of my current abilities. Give me a few years to gather funds, amasses weaponry, hire underlings and begin deconstructing the very foundation of Manitoba's government from a grassroots level. You know what the foundation of Manitoba's government is, right? That's right. Cows. We must strike them where it hurts most. Square in the bovine.
Indeed
( Saturday night in Vegas, he's lucky I even have a vacancy to offer... )
SC: "Is that the preferred rate? $109?"
Me: "That's the distressed passenger rate, yes."
SC: "That's like a cruel joke."
Yes, I know and I assure you I find it deliciously amusing.
Again?
Me: "and what's the problem?"
SC: "Manitoba."
Still? I thought I warned you it would take me a few years to plot and gather resources before I could plunge Manitoba into a bitter, life crushing dystopian wasteland. You know, like Nunavut.
Obviously
Me: "and your postal code?"
SC: "XXX XXX"
Me: "Langley?"
SC: "Yes! Wow, how did you know? You must live like right next door to me?"
Yeah, that’s it. I live right next door to you. Its not like postal codes identify where you live or anything. They're just there to make Canadian addresses feel as important as American addresses and their far-fangled "zip codes". You can ignore the postal code entirely if you like, its just fluff anyway.
A Clue
Me: "The only thing I have there is the <hotel> for $109"
SC: "What? But America West said it would only be $39!"
Yeah, America West also said your flight would arrive on time. I'll leave you to draw your own conclusions but if you need a hint I'll be over here in the corner worrying over the future of the human race. Just tap me on the shoulder. Ignore the tears.
and I am FREE till next week. -.-
Bacon Flavour
Me: "The only thing I have there is the <hotel> for $109"
SC: "Do you have anything else?"
Me: "That's the only thing I have."
SC: "What about the Plaza?"
Me: "This is the ONLY thing I have."
I'm going to have to try a different word. No on in Vegas seems to have even the foggiest hickory smoked tuna flippin' idea what the word "Only" means. Perhaps I should be leading in with "There is no other choice beyond the <hotel>" or "Your current options amount to a sum total of one.". Do you think I'm holding out on you? Do you think we keep a couple hotels in reserve for the callers who are "smart" enough to irrationally persist in asking the same question over and over till we reward them with another hotel and/or delicious bacon flavoured Dentabone dog treat?
Bad dog, no biscuit.
Vacancy
Me: "The only thing I have left in Vegas is the <hotel> for $109"
SC: "Do you have anything cheaper?"
Why yes, actually I do. I'm still offering that rodent pee basin in the grime ridden alley between the hangers. It was a steal last week and we still have vacancies available there tonight. I just hope your shots are up to date.
Rollin' Rollin'
Me: "Good morning, <company>-"
SC: "I wanna….what's it called….<Kara's company>…..<Kara's company>…<Kara's company> somethin'"
Me: "Pardon? This is <company>, not <Kara's company>."
SC: "I wanna download ringtone's on ma <Kara's company>."
Me: "This is <company>, not <Kara's company>."
SC: "This ain't <Kara's company>?"
Me: "No, this is <company>."
SC: "Not <Kara's company>?"
Me: "No."
This is not <Kara's company>. Nor can I provide you with 30 second wav files of Proud Mary being played by a jug band composed entirely of family members who are dangerous close from a genetic standpoint.
Like, wtf?
SC: "Like, omigawd, don't you people know how to run a business?!"
Easy, Paris. I'm sure <company> would love to hear business advice from someone who's spent more money on The Gap then they have on their education.
Map of the Problematique
Me: "and what's the problem?"
SC: "Manitoba"
Hmmm, not that I'm unwilling mind you, but this seems to be a problem far beyond the scope of my current abilities. Give me a few years to gather funds, amasses weaponry, hire underlings and begin deconstructing the very foundation of Manitoba's government from a grassroots level. You know what the foundation of Manitoba's government is, right? That's right. Cows. We must strike them where it hurts most. Square in the bovine.
Indeed
( Saturday night in Vegas, he's lucky I even have a vacancy to offer... )
SC: "Is that the preferred rate? $109?"
Me: "That's the distressed passenger rate, yes."
SC: "That's like a cruel joke."
Yes, I know and I assure you I find it deliciously amusing.
Again?
Me: "and what's the problem?"
SC: "Manitoba."
Still? I thought I warned you it would take me a few years to plot and gather resources before I could plunge Manitoba into a bitter, life crushing dystopian wasteland. You know, like Nunavut.
Obviously
Me: "and your postal code?"
SC: "XXX XXX"
Me: "Langley?"
SC: "Yes! Wow, how did you know? You must live like right next door to me?"
Yeah, that’s it. I live right next door to you. Its not like postal codes identify where you live or anything. They're just there to make Canadian addresses feel as important as American addresses and their far-fangled "zip codes". You can ignore the postal code entirely if you like, its just fluff anyway.
A Clue
Me: "The only thing I have there is the <hotel> for $109"
SC: "What? But America West said it would only be $39!"
Yeah, America West also said your flight would arrive on time. I'll leave you to draw your own conclusions but if you need a hint I'll be over here in the corner worrying over the future of the human race. Just tap me on the shoulder. Ignore the tears.
and I am FREE till next week. -.-
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