You're not a VIP, you're a VSP (Very Stupid Person)
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"No, I don't work here...I'm just a big fan"Unseen but seeing
oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
3rd shift needs love, too
RIP, mo bhrionglóid
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Quoth Pagan View Post"Don't piss me off. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies."
"Friends help friends move. Real friends help friends move bodies"
I think another good one might be: "The answer is still, NO"I will not shove “it” up my backside. I do not know what “it” is, but in my many years on this earth I have figured out that that particular port hole is best reserved for emergency exit only. -GK
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Quoth friendofjimmyk View PostTip me or die of thirst.
"Y'know, bartenders need to drink too"
One that I would like for work:
"How many definitions of 'It's not here yet.' do you know of?"I pray for the strength to change what I can, the inability to change what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference -Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes
Being a pessimist and cynical wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't right so often!
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T-shirts
How about:
"I cannot bend the rules of space, time, and reality. You're out of luck."
"My driver's license does not say I'm Jesus Christ, so don't ask for any miracles."
"Looks like you woke up on the stupid side of the bed today."
And for those who work retail...
Front
"Shop at Wal-Mart"
on back
"I need some peace and quiet from you."
No offense to those poor souls who work at wal-mart, but I want to club every person like a baby seal who goes to another store and bitch about them not having something because "Wal-Mart has it, why don't you?"I did not sell my soul to Satan. He does have a long term lease with the option to buy.
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If any of you have read the book "Waiting" by Debra Ginsberg she has a title of a chapter that's called: TIPPING: It's not a city in China. Would be good for all you servers out there"If you are planning not to tip, please let your server know before ordering so they can decide whether or not to wait on you" - from an advice column I read some time ago
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Quoth Tuxian View PostLet's see... I'd like to wear a button that reads:
House Rules: House Wins in the End
or:
Give me your money, and bend over.
Lol. i'd have somehting like this:
Flush Your money down the toilet. it's quicker.The mere fact that we have the flamethrower means that someone, somewhere once said "You know, I'd really like to set those customers over there on fire, but don't possess the means to do it"
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My oldest younger sister worked at a donut shop about 25-30 years ago. She got away with wearing her Go-Gos concert T-shirt to work.
The front had a picture of women waterskiing in a pyramid. The back said, "Don't bother me. I'm on VACATION."
Neither her boss nor a single customer ever complained about it.The best karma is letting a jerk bash himself senseless on the wall of your polite indifference.
The stupid is strong with this one.
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I have a Happy Bunny sticker that says, "You suck and that's sad." I think that would make a great work uniform some days.
The other day I saw a shirt that said, "Hurting you is the last thing I want to do, but don't worry, I'll get there eventually."
I actually wore a pin at Budget for a while that said, "Proudly serving my corporate masters," until someone finally noticed it and made me take it off. Customers thought it was pretty funny, at least the non-sucky ones did.Dips: The best karma happens when you let a jerk bash themselves senseless on the wall of your polite indifference.
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Shirts I wear at work occasionally
I'm big, you're small....Have a nice day
I see small people
It's good being the king
Shirts I would love to have.
1. Ask me how I know you're stupid
Think about this for a moment and let it sink in. And imagine the people who would actually ask.
2. Who pissed in your Corn Flakes this morning
3. and just cause it makes me laugh this one "I may be a bitch/bastard/motherfucker, but i'm the bitch/bastard/motherfucker who's about to disconnect your cable/phone/cell/electric service.My Karma ran over your dogma.
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