Oops! Did I say that???

[MadMike]

"Yeah, its TOTALLY f**ked..."

....just as she answered a call on her system and I was definately within earshot of her headset mic. The caller was dead silent for a moment and then pretended she heard nothing.

I did something sort of like that once, only worse. At least I think so.

It was at the old supermarket job. I had to put one of those stupid cardboard displays together, and the damn thing wasn't cooperating. If I had known it was going to be so frustrating, I would have gone deeper into the back room, instead of just inside the double doors.

As I said, it just wouldn't cooperate. I'd put the tabs into the slots on the one side, and then the ones on the other side would come loose. After this repeated 5 or 6 times, I kind of lost it, and screamed "FUCK YOU" at the thing, at the top of my lungs.

Unfortunately, it was at that exact moment that one of my coworkers decided to come into the back room, and opened the door just as my profanity slipped out. I could hear it echoing all the way to the front of the store.

I very quickly and quietly slipped away for a little bit, until I was sure I wasn't going to get in trouble for it. I don't remember if I ever did get that damn display put together.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I've only once really lost it at work; luckily, this was at the country park where as long as the SC was being cruel to animals, I could get away with being a bitch.

I was very pissed off as I'd had to go not once, but twice, to tell off these 2 brats who were throwing stones at the lambs. They were around 12 and 13, definitely old enough to know better, and no parents in sight. So, when I had to go for the 3rd time to tell these two morons off, I was not in the best of moods. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Well, me.
MB1: Mouthy brat 1
MB2: Mouthy brat 2

Me: Stop that right now! You're both coming with me to the office.
MB2: You can't do anything to us.
Me: Like hell I can't!
MB1: (clenching his fists and making little circles with them, raises one and threatens me with it)
Me: OK, go right ahead and hit me. But you'd better make sure it's a good one, cuz it's going to be the only shot you'll get. Cuz right after that, I'm going to kick your arse!

After that, both kids quietened down and allowed me to take them to the office. Apparently, their parents had just left them in the animal section, thinking we'd be babysitters. I never found out what happened, which to me could only be good.

[Becks]

I was in an okay mood so I let alot of her hatefulness go UNTIL when she went to pay she kept saying I rang her up wrong I Infact had given her a discount so I not only rung her up correctly but saved her money...

Ah, but don't you see? By giving her the discount, you DID ring her up wrong.

Just saying.

[Dr Yorick]

Having spent 31 years in retail, I have of course been known to tell customers to go to hell, f**k off, eat shit and die, and much much worse.

It is amazing that I survived that long with never grtting from any job.

[Azalea]

I can see this asshat in his doc's office - "but doc, I HAVE to get an erection or I'm going to DIE! DIE I TELL YOU!"

I think everyone who takes any kind of ED drug does this to their doc. They were almost ALWAYS pissy and over dramatic. The only people I ever cut any slack to were the Muse users. Any man who has to give himself an injection into his penis to get an erection has a right to be snippy!

OT, I know.

[Rocko]

I called a kid a smartass once. I had been in a very bad mood the night before, and was still in a bad mood when I started my closing shift.

So this kid and his friend, both had to be no more than 11, wanted airsoft BBs, I told them they needed to be 18 for it, and thought that was that. I then did a carryout or something like that, and when I came back the kid was with his Grandfather. I rung them up, and the kid says:

-Kid (in a very condescending tone of voice): You know, you should put up a sign that says you have to be 18 to buy BBs
-Me (very sarcastic tone of voice) Yes sir! Right away sir! (under my breath) Little smartass

Oops, I guess "under my breath" was still a little too loud, because the grandfather heard and I had to apologize profusely before he told a manager (I was still on probation). The people behind them though were nice as could be though.

Yeah, I know it was wrong, but jeez, I had a freakin' 11 year-old talk down to me.

[CrazedClerk]

There's a guy who's been coming into my store every day this week bugging me about Wiis and he hasn't been particularly pleasant about it. He was at my front door this morning and for some stupid reason (partly because I didn't want to deal with him and partly because I suspected he might be buying the system to resell it) I lied and said we were sold out when in fact we had two. (I know, I know, stupid).

My DM found out (not sure how) and now I'm getting written up. Whoopee.
Damn those infernal machines, they are the bane of my existence.

[Hicksey]

We're allowed to sass-back at my place of employment. This is fortunate, because I can be fairly tight-lipped and sarcastic at times. My particular style of sarcasm tends to go over people's heads, though.

There is nothing more fun than firing an insult over someone's head. And when they are being an SC its even more fun. What takes the cake is when someone else nearby gets it and gives you the sympathetic, smiling shake of the head.

[Hicksey]

"Sir, you may try, but I assure you that as surely as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, if you do try, the police may find some of your remains but they will never find all of them. Do you understand the words that just came out of my mouth?"

Not an SC story, but once there was some question as to whether my ex-brother in law had abused my sister. I took him by the neck and lifted him clean off the ground and told him if he ever did it again I'd tear him to pieces -- literally. He gave one of those "Yeah, right!" looks to which I responded: "I will deliver a part of you to every ocean and a few lakes in between! I have the type of job (trucker) to make that part of the equation logistically possible ... And considering where you are now I wouldn't dismiss the possibility that the other part could happen."

Anyone that knows me knows that when I get wordy and polite I am about ready to blow up.

[Misanthropical]

Okay, I wasn't at work, I was at the pharmacy with my little guy.

Anyway, we were talking about being a Jedi. I was joking with the little guy that his dad is a Jedi. The pharmacist walks up just as I tell my little guy that his dad becomes a Jedi after the little guy is asleep.

The pharmacist gave me a look and that is when I realized how what I said could have been taken in a very naughty way.

[DesignFox]

Anyone that knows me knows that when I get wordy and polite I am about ready to blow up.

I'm the same way. When I know I am about to lose it at a customer I get super syrup sweet polite. Luna watches and knows what's really happening...it's usually at night when the mall is 5 mins from closing and some jackass walks in to shop for about half an hour.... she hides behind the til and counts the money so she doesn't burst out laughing... she knows the rant is coming as soon as that gate comes down...

[Misanthropical]

DesignFox, my husband says my facial expression doesn't change, my voice stays even, but my eyes change. He says that when that happens he feels almost sorry for the poor soul who doesn't know that the wrath of God is about to come down.

[Imogene]

Hmm... worst I've ever done, if I remember correctly, probably happened at Chesterfield (big surprise, I spent most of my working life in Chesterfield)

I forget what precisely had happened, but these two teenage-looking guys had been wandering around the store, a soda bottle in hand for one of them... I want to say they tried to go for the porn, and I removed them from the section, so they decided to wander around the store, asking if they were in the porn still. For every freaking section in the store!
They walked past me to leave, and one of them tried to hand me his empty bottle, which I promptly reached up and slapped out of his hand and across the entirety of the counter. Luckily, my coworker was nearby and took over on getting them out of the store. Later, my coworker told me he'd "remember to never get on my bad side".

Or perhaps it was our biggest jackass to ever wander into the store. Still Chesterfield, and I may have posted about this guy at some point on a previous incarnation of the board...

One lonely night, a rather hefty, squirelly-looking moron in a long black leather coat comes wandering into the store. Saunters around, comes back up to me at the register, asks where the batteries are. I lean just far enough to point down the front of the counter for him, he grabs a pack of AAs, and hands them to me to ring him out. "$4.25, with tax."
"For a pack of batteries?"
"Yes."
"That's too much."
"That's nice, but it's still the price."
Guy pulls out the money, and immediately tears into the batteries, before I've even put the money into the register.
I hand him his receipt, he hands it right back. I place it on the counter, next to his pile of battery packaging...
I forget precisely what made me say it, but I told him, "Don't even bother asking me to throw away your packaging, we can't do it."
So, of course, he does.
I give him the look of death, apparently, as he immediately says, "Just kidding."
He finally grabs all his shit and leaves.

Only to come back every night after we close our gates just to wave at me through the bars, as if I'm suddenly his friend.

[Kiwi]

Quick fact about me: Two and a half years ago, I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer (the lining of the uterus)

Im really sorry to hear that, but really happy to see your still with us!!

During my last months at the craft store I was really angry and jaded, working only because I HAD to and hating every second of it..although I did still win 2 customer service awards in the last 6 months...which should give you some indication of our store...it was a self service store, cheap, no frills, not a full service store. We just didnt have the staff to explain product or tell you how to do this craft or that. You came in, got rock bottom prices and did it all yourself.

a girl kept asking me question after question about our beading stock and I was trying to do 20 other things at the same time and got really fed up, we had instruction leaflets, how-to books, etc and she just couldnt be bothered looking/buying one, she wanted me to explain and teach her how to bead...right then and there when I have lines of more grumpy customers with stupid obvious questions to ask. I finally think im through with her and she makes some comment on the quality of the crimps (the pack of 50 crimps is less than 2 bucks...go figure the quality isnt the best) after Ive just explained what they are and how to use them blah blah blah blah blah

so when she asked me "well will these last forever" I snapped back "nothing lasts forever!! so I doubt it" rolling my eyes and walking off

god I hated that job!

[Bliss]

DesignFox, my husband says my facial expression doesn't change, my voice stays even, but my eyes change. He says that when that happens he feels almost sorry for the poor soul who doesn't know that the wrath of God is about to come down.

Hmm with your face and this comment now I know one of the reasons I like you, you remind me of my mother (that's a compliment, just in case)