Oops! Did I say that???

[kerrisan]

Oh, I just remembered one told to me by a friend long ago that happened to his friend and yet another friend.

Guy 1: cashier
Guy 2: gutsy friend, in line behind . . .
SC: Idiot on a cell phone

Guy 1: Paper or plastic, sir?
SC: Huh?
Guy 1: Paper or plastic?
SC: Paper.
Guy 1: Can I get you anything else today, sir?
SC: *still chatting away on a cell phone*
Guy 1: Sir?
Guy 2: *grabs SC's phone* GET OFF THE F*CKING PHONE!!!
SC:
Guy 1:
Guy 2:
SC: *to Guy 1* . . . thank you. *pays, takes bags and leaves . . . after hanging up*

[Food Lady]

But at any rate, after he threatened to kill me, or have a relative do it, I returned with...

"Sir, you may try, but I assure you that as surely as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, if you do try, the police may find some of your remains but they will never find all of them. Do you understand the words that just came out of my mouth?"

Another good answer would have been: "Sir, could you please repeat that death threat? Ok, just let me turn on the tape recorder. Ok, go ahead. I'll make sure I get it to the police."